Fashion for pre-teens surprisingly smooth

A few years ago I wrote an article about clothing styles for very young girls. When my daughter grew out of the sweet 4-6X department and we moved onto the infamous 7-12 stage, I was dismayed to see fashion choices clearly inappropriate for elementary school aged children. From tank tops with built-in bras for seven year olds, to thong bikini undergarments for the same age group, the fashion industry seemed to be pushing my little girl toward sexy teen clothes before she was even past her princess and pony stage.

A few years have passed and my daughter is twelve years old now and the struggle for age appropriate fashion has oddly vanished. It turns out that middle school aged children wear a universally agreed upon uniform. The uniform is chosen by the kids themselves and we adults have no insight into how the garments are selected. The code is strictly enforced. Thankfully, this year’s uniform consists of jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie sweatshirt. The uniform is worn every day despite mood, planned activities or weather. Rain jackets, winter coats and of course, hats and mittens, do not meet the uniform standard.

I am simultaneously dismayed and relieved by the self-imposed dress code. The lack of originality saddens me as I see my previously flamboyant daughter adhering to the rigid, unwritten rules. And yet, when I compare her attire to the cleavage baring styles of high school girls, who also do not wear coats, I feel lucky indeed. I wonder what I can do to insure that next year’s acceptable fashion does not include padded push up bras and lingerie style tops.

A recent incident gives me hope. My daughter has been taking dance classes since she was four years old. The dance studio has a uniform code as well, but this one is written and comes complete with overpriced leotards and tights that never fit well. At the start of dance season, I struggled to find an approved leotard that would fit my pre-adolescent daughter. Most of the styles selected by the dance studio were clearly designed for a fuller figure than most twelve year olds possess. It seems that even when exercising, our daughters are expected to put their assets on display. Crossing my fingers and hoping to get away with it, I selected two styles from the elementary school page. The leotard came in mere hours before the first class and I rushed home with the tiny black and pink package.

While I put laces into new tap shoes, my daughter hurried into the leotard and searched for a pair of dance shorts to cover up her lower half. The shorts were left over from last year and were admittedly a bit tight. Now ever since my daughter graduated from the pink ribbon and bows stage, I have monitored her clothing choices, ruling out inappropriate selections, never quite sure if she truly understood why midriff baring shirts and micro-shorts were not allowed. On this occasion, I was rushed and not paying close attention when I realized that she was still not ready. Bustling to her room, I found her twisting in front of the mirror with a dissatisfied expression on her face. The leotard was a bit on the low cut side and the shorts were bordering on obscene. Before I could say anything, I heard my daughter mutter to the mirror, “I can’t wear this. I look trashy!”

She looked up just in time to catch my grin. She got it! Without my telling her, she realized that her attire, even though it would be confined to the dance studio, reduced her somehow. The leotard went back to the store and the shorts went to the donation pile. My daughter went to dance class in a t-shirt and regular shorts that day, and her mother smiled the whole way there.